


Believing in fate

by allycat83



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 12:51:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allycat83/pseuds/allycat83
Summary: Vanessa tries to cope when Charity rejects her (aftermath of Bails trial)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of what could happen after the verdict tonight.
> 
> Chapter 4 is M rated xx

Vanessa sat in the vets typing away on her I pad, she could barely concentrate, it had been 2 weeks, 14 days god knows how many hours or minutes, Vanessa had been keeping track even down to the seconds but exhaustion had caused temporary amnesia regarding the full time since she had last seen or heard from Charity.

Her head pounded another migraine, she rubbed her temples gently to relieve the growing pressure, she felt lost and uncertain to where her relationship with Charity lay or even if they still had one.

Vanessa turned off the ipad and checked her watch, time to get Johnny from nursery and an afternoon of explaining why Charity wasn't visiting them anymore, she simply told him that Charity was busy but loved him she was unsure how long she could keep up the pretence until she broke.

Vanessa missed Charity, she laughed out loud how that sounded in her head, she missed the most infuriating, selfish and sarcastic woman, but she was her woman, she loved her even down to her sometimes off hand comments that hurt because Charity would know she had gone too far, apologise to Vanessa and they would spend the rest of the evening in bed, naked and proving how much they cared for each other.

Vanessa had fallen in love and not even had chance to tell Charity how she felt before their lives had been turned upside down with the discovery of Ryan and everything else, Vanessa was not even sure now if Charity really cared for her at all or if she was merely a distraction from what was happening in her life.

Vanessa wiped away a lone tear and grabbed her bag off to get her son and to spend another evening watching Paw Patrol for one half and crying on her sisters shoulder for the rest of it, uncertain whether she would hear from Charity again.


	2. Chapter 2

Charity couldn't sleep, she lied to herself that she couldn't sleep since the verdict but the truth was she struggled to sleep without Vanessa there, she was always the big spoon and wrapped herself around Charity like a cocoon keeping her safe and helping her feel protected.

She wished she could take back the hurtful things that she had said to Vanessa, the look in her eyes when she had finished her tirade of anger, she felt the pain sink into her own heart as Vanessa calmly let her get everything out, lies of how she felt about her, Vanessa swallowed her pain and heart break and said " Okay well I'll give you the time you need then, I'm sorry for pushing you to talk about your past, please call me when you are ready to talk to me again".

Charity wanted to stop her leaving, to take her hand in hers and to fall in to each others arms, but she didn't, she let the person who meant the most to her walk away and gave her no reason to ever return.

Charity looked at her phone, so many texts from Vanessa that she had kept, and ones she hadn't replied to over the past 2 weeks. Vanessa asked how she was, hoped she was okay, sent emojis of hugs and kisses, Charity hadn't replied to any of them and after 3 days the texts stopped.

Faith had given her a stern talking to and she now realised the damage she had now done to her relationship, irrepareable damage, broken the heart of herself and the woman she loved. She wanted to see Vanessa, talk to her and repair them but she was scared she would be rejected so simply stayed in her room doing the odd shift when needed.

During another boring shift where her heart stopped every time the door opened hoping it would be Vanessa, Tracy walked over to the bar "Glass of red please" she said before sitting on the bar stool, Charity kept glancing behind her "She won't be over so stop worrying" Tracy said downing the glass. Charity thought this would make her relieved instead she felt anxious.

"How is she?" Charity asked giving Tracy another glass of wine, "I don't know, apart from when she's crying on my shoulder or crying in bed all night I can't say" Tracy threw down some money, "You should talk to her yourself even if just to finish it, she's in a bad way like you" Tracy said pointing out Charitys red rimmed eyes deprived of sleep.

Tracy turned to leave, then turned back to Charity "I mean it talk to her, she needs to know where she is with you, if you want to end it please do because if I have to hear my sister cry another night, retching from not eating and curling up under her duvet, I will lie and say you ended it so she can move on, I mean it you have until the end of today to sort it out or I will" Tracy shouted, all eyes on Charity as she scurried back to the safety of the lounge and away from prying eyes, it was now up to her and her alone to make a decision about her future with Vanessa.


	3. Chapter 3

The cold night wind blew and Vanessa shivered pulling her coat around her tightly as she walked over to the Woolpack, she opened the door feeling an immediate gust of warm air, seeing Chas at the bar she went over to her and handed her an envelope "She okay?" Vanessa asked quietly, "Not really love" Chas replied, "Can you give that to her please when I've gone" Vanessa said gesturing to the envelope "Of course" Chas said as Vanessa went to leave "For what it's worth she misses you" Vanessa smiled "Same here" as the door closed Charity appeared, "Someone left this for you" Chas said giving Charity the envelope.

Charity sat on the sofa holding the envelope she knew the writing immediately and took a deep breath opening it slowly she began to read the words and absorb them in to her soul.

"Charity

Words cannot express the feelings that I have for you, how proud I am of you every day and how much I have enjoyed every moment of being with you. I know that it overwhelmed you with everything that has happened but I wanted to be your rock, your person to lean on and you let me in the beginning until recently. 

I know I pushed you in to opening up about the past and all that came after, I am sorry for any pain I caused you, the past few weeks I've been lost again and you were my compass, but I feel that may be our time together is over.

It breaks my heart that you are in pain and you won't let me help you and I don't know what else you want from me. I have so much to say to you but I doubt you would want to hear it .

I found myself when I found you, the real you, I wish you could see how good we are for each other, how I think about you all the time and yearn for your kisses or touches just to be close to you.

I hope that you find what you are looking for and will be happy, you will always have a piece of my heart.

Always yours 

Vanessa"

Charity didn't realise she was crying until tears fell on the letter she immediately jumped up and ran out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is M rated, Enjoy xx

Vanessa was sat on the sofa, she had a horror film on in the back ground and Johnny was asleep, Tracy was probably still in town, she had met up with an old friend and Vanessa hoped the night out would bring back the sparkle in Tracy's eyes that she missed after the while David debarcle. Vanessa's own light had dimmed she was no longer happy or fun to be around and she longed to find that part of herself again.

As she pulled the cushion closer, she hated horror films really and only watched them as both Charity and Tracy liked them. Pushing her face in to the cushion on a particularly scary scene some man in a mask waving a knife chasing a cheerleader, her hands felt something soft down the back of the sofa, tugging it she now held a piece of underwear in her hands, looking at them she knew they were Charity's panties taken off in the heat of passion, Vanessa held them and began to remember what took place that amazing night.....

(Start of memory)

They had both showered and Vanessa had opted to slip on a dark blue teddy nightdress she wore nothing underneath and couldn't wait to surprise Charity's with her daring attire, Charity was wearing some black silk pajamas that Vanessa had bought her for her birthday.

They snuggled under the blanket on the sofa together, Charity being the big spoon for once, and horror film was on the latest one but Charity wasn't planning on watching it. Her hand snuck around to touch Vanessa's thigh they had teased each other all evening and Charity wanted to quell the hunger she had to have Vanessa scream out her name again as she made her reach her peak and then hold her afterwards kissing her all over.

Vanessa moved slightly giving Charity a chance to cuddle her but as she did Charity realised she couldn't feel underwear, she smired "Mm what do we have here Ness" Vanessa turned as kissed her when suddenly the door burst open and Tracy came in.

Tracy began to yabber on about her night, Charity began to run her fingers gently over the nightwear of Vanessa inching it up slowly and slipped her digits underneath, Vanessa was startled she tried to wriggle away this only allowed Charity to enter her with two fingers sliding in to the heavenly depths of Vanessa.

Charity slowly began a rhythm thankful for the blanket hiding her love making, Vanessa tried to respond to Tracy when needed, but as Charity began to stroke the bud between her fingers her voice began to get more shaky and incoherent.

"You okay Ness?" Tracy worried as Vanessa turned red and began to sweat, Vanessa didn't have chance to reply as Tracy's phone buzzed "Oh damn I've got the keys, I'll pop back to the b&b see you in a minute" as the door slammed behind her Charity giggled in to Vanessa's neck, "What the hell Charity" Vanessa began, "Don't tell me you didn't like that, you are so wet and I know that's from the thrill of nearly being caught" Vanessa couldn't deny it and threw the blanket off them, "Better finish what you started before she comes back" she moaned as Charity expertly began thrusting in to her kissing away her moans and touching her just in the right way before she was sated.

Tracy fumbled the key in the lock as Charity came down from her high, she was sat on top of the arm of the sofa as Vanessa finished licking the nectar that had spilled down on her thighs, her panties lost in the hurry she pulled her pajamas back on and grabbed the blanket they lay snuggled up, "Aww you are the cutest" Tracy said heading in to the kitchen, Vanessa and Charity kissed each other again feeling exhilarated and happy in each other arms...(end of memory)

Vanessa put the garment in to her pocket she didn't want anyone to find those she would return them to their owner in due course, as she stood up to get a drink she heard a light knock at the door.....


	5. Chapter 5

Charity innitially had a fast pace walking towards Tug Gyhl then slowed down, the fear of rejection crept up on her and she lowered herself on to an outside drinks bench by the Woolpack, what was she going to see, pain and discomfort that she had caused, she mused that walking away now would be better for them until she spotted a corn snake slithering down past the wall and towards the grass.

She remembered the fun and humour that Vanessa had brought in to her life, placing the fake moustache on her face and the look they shared between them, for Charity that fleeting glance changed things, no longer was it a fun, enjoy the moment relationship it had become serious she had let Vanessa in to her heart, mind, body and soul.

Charity again looked towards the house, the one she spent time in, met up secretly with her son Ryan in, enjoyed bonding with Johnny in, where the woman who held her heart lived.

Taking a deep breath she stood up determined to resolve the issues that now arose between them, like a wall that she had built and now had to dismantle piece by piece, brick by brick talking about how to overcome the obstacles not hiding from them.

As she approached the door she caught a faint wiff of Vanessa's perfume, she remembered nuzzling into Vanessa's neck after she had chased her down the road before they finally talked then went back to Vanessa's and not slept a wink that night learning each curve and feel of each others bodies. 

Charity reached the door and took another breath scanning behind her for any one who may listen to their next interaction, seeing and hearing no one she gently knocked the door.....


	6. Chapter 6

Vanessa opened the door and saw Charity stood there, her eyes widened she couldn't believe that Charity was there after reading the letter, well she assumed she had read the letter, what if Chas forgot to give it her.

Thousands of things rushed around Vanessa's head until Charity spoke "I read the letter". Vanessa lowered her head waiting for the inevitable tirade of why are you finishing things or even a sarcastic comment, there's was silence between the two of them until Vanessa found her voice.

"I didnt know what else to do, you didn't answer my texts or calls" she began, then headed back in to the house unsure if she had been invited in Charity stood on the doorstop trying to calm her breathing and prepare herself for what would come next.

Vanessa turned around seeing no Charity she picked up the baby monitor and headed back to the door "Come in" she said quietly and leaned past Charity to close the door behind her. They were so close in space inches apart each breathing each others air.

Vanessa was first to move away and Charity felt the heaviness take over her, all her feelings ready to burst forth like a volcano. 

Vanessa spoke again "Charity if you have come here to talk I'm here to listen but", she began to break in to a sob " I think may be we are ov...." Charitys hand shot out and covered Vanessa's lips gently with her finger "Don't say it....Ness..." Charity slowly removed her fingers and began to caress Vanessa's face, her jawline and tentively she took Vanessa's hands in hers.

Locking eyes with Vanessa, studying the azure blue in front of her she spoke again. " I'm sorry for pushing you away, for hurting you, for making you feel neglected and rejected, I promise to always talk to you, to be there for you and to build a family with you and our kids, Ness please can you give me a chance to fix this, to fix us?".

Vanessa lowered her eyes she was exhausted from looking after Johnny, working and doing every thing to help Charity including missing some of her own sons birthday party. As she lifted her eyes up Charity saw a chance to say something that she had longed to say so she opened her mouth to speak again...


	7. Chapter 7

Charity closed her mouth and thought better of it, then almost immediately she knew it was now or never, as Vanessa began to speak she interrupted her "I love you" Charity said catching Vanessa off guard. She had her mouth still open bit no words came out.

Finding her voice Vanessa spoke again " You love me" she said shocked, Charity cleared her throat, "Yeah so now you know" she went to make an escape when she she heard the same three words repeated back to her".

She turned around to face Vanessa, "I said I love you too Charity Dingle, I have for a long time". Charity practically ran into Vanessa's arms and kissed her.

As their lips met Charity felt that she had finally come home, Vanessa was her missing piece and she would never let her go again. 

They kissed for a long time before Vanessa spoke "What does this mean for us?" She was totally unsure of this was the heat of the moment or if Charity really wanted to be with her.

Charity lifted Vanessa's face up to hers, "Babe I never believed that I was worth anything, then you came along in your superhero outfit and changed my life, you believe in me and I am starting to, you have shown me real love, love without blackmail or limitations you see the real me the one I kept hidden..Ness I love you so much and want, no need you in my life, I am so lost and broken but you are my superglue keeping me together, I love you and I will tell you and everyone else every single day if you still want to be with me".

Vanessa felt tears fall down her face from Charity's raw revelation, then she spoke as Charity silently sobbed.

**Author's Note:**

> Shall I continue?


End file.
